Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Before the world began, you were on His mind....

Thank God for that. I am writing to celebrate the fact that I was productive today at work! Yippy! Haha, I have been rather unmotivated the last few days at work, it is great to finally get my act together and to do wad I need to do.

On Sunday was Father's Day..The pastor that day was talking to parents on how better to be GIFTs to their family,those to whom you are closest too... I think it is quite relevant, though I am not a parent... I am not a big fan of acronym's like these.. But yeah, I admit, they do work.

SO here goes.

G= Godly Values: Imparting godly values to your children such that they will always walk the straight and narrow path... The pastor related it to the Fear of the Lord.. He did a very simple analysis: Fear of the Lord = Beginning of wisdom= more discernment= less bad choices in life.

I= Inheritance: A sense of Purpose and Dignity. This would give people the purpose to live through the difficult times as they will know there is a purpose for a time such as this.

F=Friendship: To be a friend and not a mere disciplinarian. Show them love and affection.

T= Time. Time shows to what extent is the person valued.Nothing tangible can take the place of time.

Yup, this is it. Time to sleep. Another long day at work tom. Take care, God Bless..

It's a happy day and things are gonna get better...
Living each day with the promises of God's word...

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Growing up pains.

"You can do anything you put your mind to- all it takes is determination"

I wished I believe this all my life. I wish that I am a more confident girl. But wishing doesnt change anything does it... This was said by the finance director yesterday during devotions. It was a very uplifting devotions. He was talking about the testing of faith.

growing up is so difficult. It is so much easier to walk in the shadow of something else. The "right" way, the "safe" way, the "sane" way. But I noe that I can't do that. I want to do be able to lift my head up and say that yes, I know that I am making my decisions based on courage and boldness and not on fear. I am doing what I can do because I know that I can do it and not because the society demands this of me. Why is this so important to me? Am I being naive and silly? I want to be un-doubleminded, stable in all I do. It is so hard..

Hmm. I am sorry if you are lost again. I guess my current state in life is this. I know that I am nothing without God. I know that everything that society presents as truth may not be truth. I know that Grace is what keeps me alive. I want to feel this grace so real. I want to walk this straight and narrow path. To have the strength to do that I am called to do...

For those that I hurt time and ago. I apologize. But I don't want to apologize anymore. I want to be loved for who I am. Not to be sorry for the learning that is taking place. I know that I am a walking paradox. I am not being rational. But please see that I try. Please see that I want to do what's right and yet I am human and I feel stresses. Please see that I no longer know what is right except love for God.

Pain and suffering I ask not you take,
but an added portion of grace in all my life I plead.
This life I ask you will be pleased with,
and through your wisdom I will learn.

Oh Lord my God thank you for being truth.
I pray you will teach me your ways more and more.
That in all I do, you will be gloried.
And that my life will always be used by you.

Was reading about Solomon the other day, Nope. I don't consider myself a King. But I see similarites. Solomon felt young and intimidated. So do I. He asked for wisdom to do the right thing... I too want wisdom to do what is right.

Yup, I am done with my thoughts. I am sorry for confusion. I hope that you will be true to yourself and your calling as you continue on your spirtual journey. Nite world, God bless.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Post Modernism

I must confess that a man is guilty of unpardonable arrogance who concludes, because an argument has escaped his own investigation, that therefore it does not really exist. I must also confess that, though all the learned, for several ages, should have employed themselves in fruitless search upon any subject, it may still, perhaps, be rash to conclude positively that the subject must, therefore, pass all human comprehension. (David Hume, 1737)

Quote from one of my favourite philosophers. This talks about truth and the need to be serious about searching for it. This is the central theme in post-modernisation philosophy.... Too often and too long, I have taken everything around me to be "it": The real thing, the truth. I guess what I learnt from my time away is that this is not necessarily true. The onst is on me to not be rash and to take my own time to determine what truth is for me.

If I am losing you over this.. I am sorry. I have not written on my blog for a while because I don't quite know how to phrase all these thoughts that have been running through my mind. What is truth? How do you know it is truth? What is love? etc etc, you get the drift.,.. Of course such an approach to life would cause many disturbances... but I need to know for myself. Or reach a stage in life when I will be at peace with my not knowing. I pray that day comes.

I will write in greater detail about all that is happening ard me. Suffice to say, I am at my thinking stage and today, my ardent fan (or so he calls himself) asked me why I have not updated my blog in a while. I guess truth be told, I wanted to process it first, and I have not. Well, not a satisfactory answer anyway...

Okie, Sleep calls.Gotta wake in a very short while. Till then, Nites world. Love u.