Friday, March 30, 2007

Hello from Papua New Guinea!

I am ALIVE! :) More comin up later ;)

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Pre Flying Blues

Days like these I feel like I am a joke...a walking contradiction. an irony. I don't have the strength to be what I wanna be... Hmmm, anyways. A brief update on where we are with things...

I am flying away in 2 days time.. I am quite psyched by it. But yet at the same time equally spooked and terrified. The reason why I like to travel often is because after a lull period.. it is that much harder to go somewhere that may seem to be more backward, the horror stories becomes scarier in contrast to the complacent life I have led here in Singapore... Hmmm, a contradiction between wanting to roam and be useful and being fearful and wanting to stay in my little secure bubble... ... oh well, I should be fine.

This week, I was a little overwhelmed by another rude shock of reality.. Adultery. Haha, you must be going.. HUH?!? But yup, it was brought very close to me this week, work or leisure...

Was readin the pilot's wife this week. questions like : How do you really know someone? What is love? The difference between being in love vs loving someone... I don't particulary like that book, but must finish what you started.. so.. yup.

So,in my contemplation about adultery, I was surfing the web and I came across a matchmaking website for extra marital affairs... below is one "post" that I took from there...

Waiting to be swept off my feet! I am a well educated attractive lady with a witty sense of humour and fun. I am currently married although the relationship has past the stage of passion and excitement, sadly we are living almost as best friends. I do not wish to leave my husband, nor do I wish for the right applicant to jeopardise my current relationship, discretion is an absolute must. I am 39 years old, of slim build and keep myself in trim by walking my faithful dog Sascha, and going to the gym. I am searching for the right man to fulfil my dreams of passion, sex, and witty conversation. Ideally the right candidate will be mature, confident, self sufficient and in a similar set of circumstances to myself. I prefer older men who know how to treat and respect women, I am a little old fashioned at heart. I await your reply if I do not seek you out first!

I find this quite disturbing.. on many fronts really. The thought that the man you choose to marry will not be able to satisfy you such that you need to resort to this is quite woah....though i can empathise that when you are with somebody for a while, the novelty will be lost and with it feelings of euphoria.... And then there is the need to think of your partner.keeping it discrete doesnt make it any easier. In fact, it may crush a person even more when the truth comes out. I am a firm believer that word gets around.. nthg is really a secret. haha.

And there is the sanctity of Marriage that you would have defiled. I am of the opinion that it is very scared as it is a covenant that you have made infront of your God and your friends/family. (maybe that's why it spooks me greatly)With adultery, it is not just the marriage bed in question, but the choice to walk out of the covenant. It is an intentional act that constitutes deceit, lust, desire, want of something you don't have....

I am not being at all judgmental. In fact, I feel as fallible. As able to do something like that. Society does not stigmatise it as much as it used to. I am very inclined towards novelty... very inclined towards searching for the perfect moment... as such, I feel like this is not beyond me..Grace of God is what I seek.

Yup, enough of such talk.. Mawwiage.. it is too young to talk about it... May God always shine his protection and grace on us...

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Pictures from my sister's camera...

(girls go crazy in Bangkok)

(Almost complete Family bliss)

(Cousins Galore)

(A reluctant smile from my brilliant brother)

Hmmm, they say a picture speaks a thousand words.. Random pix of my sis's camera... One of those rare moments when I m using the family com.. It is the season of moving house again....May God grant us the strength and serenity once again...

While waiting for photos to load.. I noticed i am looking different. Think my eyes are tired from the harsh realities of this world.. It has grown smaller and less sparkly. :( Don't think any beauty product is going to help with that... Hopefully the sparkle will return. hee i sound vain. :)

Watched little miss sunshine today. I liked it, though I don't understand how the grandad could win the academy when he didnt act in the whole show..

Shows nowadays are getting to close for comfort, discussing the painful issues in life. Perhaps they always do, but I am feelin it acutely more so now.

Think I need to sleep now. it is 1247. Think I need to continue with my be happy plan. It is a hard endeavor.

Been thinking abt God, church, wisdom, life, work, basically just about anyting. Need to be learning the art of joyful surrender.

haha, i joined california fitness. need to go for it now. STRESS. MAT, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!! :P

:) Random post in the middle of the day! Have a great week.

Monday, March 05, 2007

God has made us with a free will.. we all have choices...

The Choice
(Max Lucado)

It's quiet. It's early. My coffee is hot.
The sky is still black. The world is still asleep.
The day is coming. In a few moments the day will arrive.
It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun.
The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day.
The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding pace of the human race.
The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met.

For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day's demands.
It is now that I must make a choice.
Because of Calvary, I'm free to choose.
And so I choose.

I choose love ..
No occasion justifies hatred;
No injustice warrants bitterness.
I choose love.
Today I will love God and what God loves.

I choose joy ...
I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance.
I will refuse the temptation to be cynical... the tool of the lazy thinker.
I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God.
I will refuse to see any problems anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I choose peace ...
I will live forgiven.
I will forgive so that I may live.

I choose patience ...
I will overlook the inconveniences of the world.
Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I'll invite him to do so.
Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray.
Instead of clenching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I choose kindness ...
I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone.
Kind to the rich, for they are afraid.
And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I choose goodness ..
I will go without before I take dishonest gain.
I will be overlooked before I will boast.
I will confess before I will accuse.
I choose goodness.

I choose faithfulness ..
Today I will keep my promises.
My debtors will not regret their trust.
My associates will not question my word.
My wife will not question my love.
And my children will never fear that father will not come home.

I choose gentleness ..
Nothing is won by force.
I choose to be gentle.
If I raise my voice may it be only in praise.
If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer.
If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.

I choose self-control ... I am a spiritual being.
After this body is dead, my spirit will soar.
I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal.
I choose self-control.
I will be drunk only by joy.
I will be impassioned only by my faith.
I will be influenced only by God.
I will be taught only by Christ.
I choose self-control.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

To these I commit my day.
If I succeed, I will give thanks.
If I fail, I will seek His grace.
And then, when this day is done,
I will place my head on my pillow and rest.