One of the most difficult things in being a nomad is when nobody knows your schedule anymore...When you feel like you r imposing on another's schedule as well cos there is a lack of communication... Well. for the most part. I always vacilate between being angry and trying to be sensible. End up just being frustrated. Grr. Like yesterday, I was so mad i cried to sleep. Well, one way tht I find dealing with anger constuctively is to vocalise my anger (between my God and I), to say it as it is and not make excuses for others. I dunno, perhaps my expectations are also rocket high as well... Beah. Need to stop this lest I become clingy girl... :S
I was also severly in pain this week because of cramps. Haha. Hate it.. eeeee. and i forgot to bring erm, pads? and I was trying to tell my colleague about it since we were going everywhere to gether... it took her a while to register what I was going on about and went she finally understood my beating around the bush.. she went.. ahhh .. soooofffffyyyy.haha,. i am erm yea *blush*... i thought it was particularly funny when we went to some really random shop and she asked if they had it matter of factly. Hmm, i think it was too open for me. strange... told her that my sister will never be caught buying this.. haha. interesting.. point noted. pls remember to bring when you do province visits.
Province visits also makes the capital look a lot better. Couldnt sleep for most of the nights. Difficult. I think i have the good fortune disease (H0 Mia).. haha, think when having women inconveniences, it gets more eeee. haha. But small mater compared to big returns i suppose.
Today we rushed back from the province also because a colleague needed to rush home (via aeroplane) as fast as possible as his dad was seriously ill, was in ICU when the decision was made and dad has since passed away. (Passed away is a very strange way of putting it. I don’t understand the term… ) A very real cos of working outside of your country as well.hmmm....
On a brighter note, this week's presentations went really well. Haha, I am amazed at how it was received, always want to laugh cos they take what i have to say seriously.. hee. quite funny really. But what I do go on about is not laughing matter I suppose and I will just try to do my best. I think that one important organizational thinking is to be open abt the values of the organization. Well. at least for organziaions such as mine.. I feel like the singaporean govt a little this week with al the World Vision "proaganda" that I spewed. haha, i think, consoled myself in that I actually believed in this values and so, dont feel too much of a hypocrite...
So, this ends my week here. Really glad to be back in Vientiane. Clean sheets and a room that I don't mind.. :) Wireless internet is great too. I am very thankful! Hah, i need to eat something now. super hungry. my motivation at the end of the day. despite all these inconvenience. is that I know that i am a instrument that has use at a time such as this. I will allow the big one to use me and continue to try to think of the good, noble, pure things... not allowing myself to dwell in self pity.So help me God.
Talk to me/u soon. hugs.