Monday, April 13, 2009

To visit before dying...

Keep Your Eyes Fixed on Him (DEVOTIONAL)

Arise [from the depression and prostration in which circumstances have kept you—rise to a new life]! Shine (be radiant with the glory of the Lord), for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you! - Isaiah 60:1 (Amplified Bible)

Have you ever allowed your workplace circumstances to cause you to grow weary? Perhaps life’s circumstances have brought a heaviness upon you and weighed you down to the point that you found your workdays to be a great chore. Perhaps depression has even come upon you. Where did the joy go?
The dictionary defines circumstances as “factors beyond willful control.” In other words, if we had a choice, we wouldn’t choose them. We simply wouldn’t want to deal with them.
All of us journey through winter seasons in our lives and in our careers. I recall one such season not so long ago. Although I was moving forward in God’s plan, it seemed that each step was like plowing hard ground. And although I still had the joy of the Lord within me, I could feel my patience being stretched daily, wondering, “When will this season end? Why does everything feel so difficult?”
Then something amazing happened. God woke me up very early one morning, about 3 a.m. I rose from my bed and felt led to stand in front of our dining room window. My heart felt heavy. Even so, I put on a praise CD, and I began to quietly sing praises unto God. Then I asked Him what He wanted to show me.
As I looked out onto our backyard, I saw an expanse of tall weeds near the perimeter. Oh how I hated those ugly weeds! The sight of them caused me to weep out of frustration because they were a reminder of the heavy circumstances in my life that seemed to not disappear.
Seeking refuge, I gazed up at the star-lit sky for a moment. But I was quickly distracted by those weeds. My eyes lowered once again to see them before returning back up to the stars. This time, I made up my mind that I wasn’t going to look out at those weeds anymore.
As I focused on the heavens above me, I could feel my desire to reach up to God increase. After about 20 minutes of singing praises and seeking Him, I pressed my cheek flat against a window pane so that I could see more sky overhead. When I did this, I saw the brightest star of all. It was straight overhead, and I would’ve missed it if I hadn’t pressed in and set my eyes vertically.
In that moment, God spoke to me in a revelation. I gasped in awe, and I began to weep again. Then just as I cupped my hands over my mouth, a falling star shot down from that perfect early morning sky, right into the weed patch. In this moment, God spoke to me again saying, “I’m singeing your weeds.” I dropped to my knees in total, humble awe, and my spirit rejoiced in the Lord.
What’s more, the CD that I had been listening to was Nicole Nordeman’s Woven & Spun. The song that played when God showed me the brightest star and the falling star was “My Offering.” The chorus that played the moment my eyes first saw the brightest star was, “Open up the heavens, open up the skies . . . “ And the moment the other star fell, the song neared its end with a crescendo playing, “and the stars every evening are all standing by to light the sky . . . “
Indeed, the God who placed the stars in the sky and knows them by name, the God who cares about every detail of our lives, chose a creative way to remind me to keep my eyes on Him and not look to circumstances, no matter how difficult they seem. Indeed, His word is true: Nothing is more powerful than the God who created the universe. There is joy in the morning, and our circumstances must bow to the name of Jesus.
What circumstances in your life or your workplace are causing you heaviness? Ask the Father in heaven to help you keep your eyes fixed on Him. Then cast them into the sea, and rejoice.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Gespenst of life...

Invisible, you wreck havoc when no one expects
Scary without even saying BOO!
Fleeting, it comes and goes like a thief in the night

The past haunts, the future taunts,
What could have been and what might be.

Spending time anxious, in want.
Knowing that the Lord who calms the sea will chase you away
But it is also an act of the will -
To choose to not be affected, to be brave and to smile

Smile and not fear, for the Lord will not leave
He who bravely faced the cross, who allowed the inevitable to happen,
was victorious at the end

Yes, to know that pain and joy goes together.
That there is only the resurrection because of the cross
That faith comes not only from one or the other.

Teach me to not fear the mighty Gespenst,
even if a horde of them...

Translation of the word Gespenst:

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Spending money in Singapore

Yesterday was a day to celebrate. Actually the day before. But yesterday, wanted to do something different. Recently, been feeling very old and haggard for whatever reason. cannot imagine living for another 50 years possibly. Gosh. Drudgery. I am not the best when walking in a straight line...

So, i decided to do something different. I checked out UOB promotions on line and decided why not a massage. Possibly the most indulgent thing that does not have any tangible returns. For whatever reason, I called one of the more expensive packages and made an appointment for the night.

While taking the train, i started becoming more uncertain and ended up not going for it. Indecisions. like itch is extremely uncomfortable....Yes or No, Pain or no pain. It is the in betweens that are most frustrating...haha. anyway, I changed my mind and decided to spend money shopping instead.

Ended up Bobbi Brown shopping. haha. and I dont mean just buying 1 item. hehe. I am officially a member. I remember when i was little younger, being fascinated by them and whenever I take the escalator up to Lido, would linger at their products just a little longer. However, they had the most uppity sales service at that time which were painfully unapproachable. Didnt dare ask, hmmm, perhaps I got older so look like I can actually afford stuff. So, I figured of all days to be a member, yesterday was as good a day it will be. haha.

So, now, I need to work. Pay for things I own. life as one gets older and make real decisions, can really differ depending on the decisions one makes. Often these decisions revolve around finances. What is going to be important to you? How are you going to spend your money? It is interesting how Jesus talked bout money being a master. How insidious. It can be a master when you have too much or when too little. When it becomes something to be obsessed about. I think I end up doing the other thing. Just put a little in each basket and try not to think of it. So when somehting goes wrong. I get very stressed. haha. wondering how to solve it but yet at the same time not be too enveloped by financial stresses.
Anyway. Money. I really like the proverb when the man ask God to give him enough. not too much where he forgets God or too little when he needs to steal.
ps: Thank you God for the gradual transformation for my frog to becoming something else... what else? To be determined! ;)