Friday, July 31, 2009

;(

I tried to blog but IE died on me...

:( Maybe its a sign that I am too reflective... hehe.

Sum of all things. Love God. Love people.

Good night world. I like the new song by Ginny Owens "say amen".

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Things So Singaporean

YAY to Singapore :)

Thursday, July 23, 2009

i love my job

Through all the pains, frustrations, growing up and everything
I am eternally thankful that I know this is what I am supposed to do this season of my life.
While wishing that people I love will get that too, this is who I am and nobody is cheating me.
Maybe one day they will, maybe they wont, but it is ok, cos it is not for them...

Just for the record. I love what I do... and grateful for people who touched my life and let me touch theirs.

good soil

"But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by perservering produce a crop"

Luke 8:15

Thursday, July 16, 2009

I'm In His Hands

A reminder that it is all good... Thank you Jesus.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Of dreams and sleepless nights.

Revelations 7 9-16

The Great Multitude in White Robes
9After this I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands. 10And they cried out in a loud voice: "Salvation belongs to our God, who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb." 11All the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures. They fell down on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, 12saying: "Amen! Praise and glory and wisdom and thanks and honor and power and strength be to our God for ever and ever. Amen!"
13Then one of the elders asked me, "These in white robes—who are they, and where did they come from?"
14I answered, "Sir, you know."

And he said, "These are they who have come out of the great tribulation; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.
15Therefore, they are before the throne of God and serve him day and night in his temple; and he who sits on the throne will spread his tent over them. 16Never again will they hunger; never again will they thirst. The sun will not beat upon them, nor any scorching heat. 17For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes."

*************

I had a weird night. Had feelings of despondency, sadness in waves. Previously, this feeling only comes when I am about to wake up. and I will pray and commit the day to God and wake up. But this time, I wake up every hour, call out to God and try to remember if I did my quiet time... I doze back to sleep but wake up with the same negative feeling...

At bout 5 ish, I spoke to my darling and he prayed for me and sang me a lullaby, think that calmed me down... .. thereafter, i made a mesh of dreams and clearly remembered the impression of revelations 7. Haha, i remember having to refer to that when I wake up but after that impression of revelations 7, I slept like a baby...

Maybe something someone will tell me what I am supposed to know. For now, this feels like something bout reassurance.

i must be aging...

When I was younger, I prefered the Epistles, I prefer the strict guidelines of what's right and wrong... Now, with the many shades of gray i see, the different paths one can take, I appreciate the bible characters in the Old testament. The human-ness that God accepts and uses and the story of life that God makes beautiful.

I am also thankful for real life people who walk before me and show me that it is possible, all things considered, to count for our Lord and to be happy and victorious.

Sunday, July 05, 2009

people in our life...

Reflecting about the life of Michael Jackson. about how now, we learn snippets of his life from different factions of people. Some paraphased examples....

"To you he is an icon, to us he is family" - Janet Jackson.

"I am not trying to whitewash his sins, but i know he is a loving father" - Some rabbi

"Michael will be in a place that he can finally find rest" - Lisa Presley

I am very fascinated by how things are playing out for MJ. Haha, I think he is slightly before my time, when I was a kid, my parents would tell me he was a puppet and I would earnestly believe them. I am thinking about the movie Citizen Kane, some old retro movie that was about the life of Orson Welles. About people trying to figure out what his last word "rosebub" was. I wonder what would people think of when I am no longer here.... the strange girl that chose the hardest path? the girl that needs to learn from doing? ... hmmm.

Another related topic would be how people become the people they are. for MJ, the lack of father's love was evident, the lack of a real childhood resulted in Neverland, in friendships with young boys... I was reading about the life of Samuel today during church. Very fascinating. In his life, he had a mother that honored her promise to the Lord regarding her son's life, a father who loved his mother, a mentor that could deal with God saying that his household will not be priests and still say, "He is the Lord, let him do what is good in his eyes".

Today was youth sunday at church, the main thrust of the message was about being an example to the young people in our lives. About investing in another's life. How true. how apt. I remembered the people in my life who were patient with me. who shared their wisdom, their experiences, their lives. I wonder if I am doing enough of a job to do the same. I tell my colleague that I want to be as transparent as I can. That people can see the different things in my life and see the hand of God in it...

Talking about things in my life... I am currently pondering what to do now. I think that its hard to know what God wants, is ok with. the line is so thin. Doing my will and doing His will. I dunno where it ends on being pushy and when it starts in being passive. I remember a Catholic man i sorta respect tell me a paraphrase of what st Augustine said ... Love God and do whatever you want. ie the love of God will be enough to guide one's decision making process.

Am I loving God in my thought process? I hope I am.... Sigh. into your hands, I commit again.

*closes eyes, bows head and seeks God*