What Would Jesus do? I wonder.
I have not considered myself "evangelical", never thought I was one... But I guess I am. I believe that God is the answer, though I do not believe that one should force the gospel on the other. I think that the key is in communication and having the gospel be relevant to one's question, instead of the gospel or christianity representing money, the status symbol, "betraying one's culture" etc. I guess the unquestioning position I have on God makes me an evangelical, or even closed minded...Quite unlike the masses of Christians here.
People leave churches here because of the creation story, have long discussions on whether the world really flooded during Noah's ark. I do not even think to doubt such things.. Or other things like Jesus, being God incarnate on earth, and how that is not something that can be said because it cannot be proven or something like that...
Gah. Basically feeling like an alien. What we believe make us who we are, and even when we have the same label of being "Christian", this is not enough. what makes us different is found in the details and how we translate that in life.
Wondering what to do next. WWJD (Brings back wonderful memories of mg) What do I do now. Do I
1)continue with my current professor who thinks i m cherry picking who I want to quote in my paper, and do not have what it takes, ie to continue with him, I need to change his opinion of me, discuss theologians of different arguments and fight against the tide basically. (but a part of me feels like God has given him to me and so I should stick it through and try to do this..despite the best advice of the German husband and a german friend)
2) Explore a new school but continue with the theological spin, perhaps this time looking for a more evangelical institute, such that I do not need to fight against the tide. Question is, can I do it? I don't know... I get to start on a new note, new impressions, and perhaps less commuting and more attention.
3) Decide that theology and Peirong are like water and oil. They can't mix and go look for a different faculty, like international relations or something. I don't know. Argue the Christian answer as one of the many options out there. This will limit the amount of theological arguments I need to discuss. My evangelical persuasion is just one of the persuasions out there. Something I do not need to defend but rather describe how effective/ineffective it is in the work of International Organizations.
Option 1 is the cheapest and Option 3 is the most expensive. I guess I need to find a job too... (it's also funny how people think that maybe I should just have a baby)... I guess I am also wondering if this is really something I want to do. Or is this something God wants me to do. Or is this not something I am gifted with. Or is this something that I am forcing outside of God's plan.
Moments like these, I want to be a old person telling my story, living the story is a lot harder... Intense.
Currently thinking about faith. How Jesus healed people because of their faith... I need faith that God will be pleased with. To believe in Him working in my life despite my many moments of despondence.
Peace and faithfulness I ask for right now...
ps: I miss people in my sunny island :(