Thursday, January 24, 2013

good reminder...

In His Presence: Whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ (Philippians 3:7).
Position is a distraction—everybody wants to be somebody. When you accepted Christ you became somebody, but if you are seeking position independently of God's purpose, you have been duped by the deceiver. Your name may be up in lights today, but years from now people won't remember your name. Remember the apostle Paul was quite a man in his day and age, but he said that his claim to fame was only that he was a bondservant of Jesus Christ.
People also become distracted from their purpose when they spend their lives living for other people. People are very important to God; we are to serve, love, and minister to people. But pleasing God is more important than pleasing men. God wants us to live for Him and His glory, and to do that we must sometimes go against what other people want. When it comes to fulfilling our calling, what matters is what God wants us to do.
Another distraction from moving forward in God's purpose is dealing with the past. Paul said: "I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I d forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:13-14). We all have regrets, but Paul said we are not to allow our yesterdays to determine our tomorrows. Instead of living with a rear-view mirror mentality, we should focus on the windshield and the big picture that is in front of us.
Dear God, please teach me to be still and know that you are God. 

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Life is a battle

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places ~ Ephesians 6:12

This world is not Disneyland. I need to remember that constantly. Somedays, I get frustrated at how life feels difficult. Simple things are not simple and leaves me with guilt as I fail to get them right.  I was talking to the darling on how I need to learn to be more joyful, but yet at the same time, feel really wrecked by feelings of depression.

This week has been one of those weeks where waking up has been particularly difficult. I listened to the bible for a few chapters before I can finally move and do something that feels useful. Some thoughts  this week...

 I went for a run  and listened to a sermon about spiritual discipline during the run. It was also the same day that Commissioner talked about discipline on his blog. Discipline is thought to be the flip side of discipleship, or as the sermon says, means of grace. This is definitely something difficult but nobody said that being like Jesus was meant to be easy... I want to do this more often. To run and to fill my mind with more thoughts on being like him.

I have been in awe that it is 2013. Time is flying. Even when I refuse to do something, to face my monsters, time flies. I remember the zeal to live a life of fullness that I had a while back. I wanted to tell stories worth telling to my grandchildren... today, I want to hide and not be in pain and not feel lost in my life of flux... I have had opportunities to do stuff but I did not want to.  we went for a ski holiday last month but I couldnt bring myself to learn something new. I could not keep up with my own life. There is the feeling that if i don't do anything, time will stop moving, and I will be okie. Quite funny (if this is not me) but also quite frustrating. It almost feels like the bad effects of growing up. The world becomes big and bad and there is no way I can control it so I don't do anything... There needs to be the feelings of urgency, instead of drifting.

This week, we were told that the squatters that I was helping at will close by the 1st March. This is essentially a building in the university compound that is currently housing Roma people (what we call Gypsies) from Slovakia. They have come to Brussels for a better life but end up sleeping on the streets, or in squatters. Even then, most believe that this is a better life to going back to Slovakia. I play with the children, make them laugh, help them feel like they can accomplish something (even if it is just a puzzle) and my heart breaks to know that in a few months time, they will be stripped of warmth and a roof over their heads. Bureaucracy is tough. Life is unfair. They have asked us for tents so that they will be prepared for the time when they will need to rough it out in parks and other places. What feels ironic is that at the same time, the darling says that there is apparently lots of money budgeted for these people. Between the budget and the actual implementation, I see a black hole that seems impossible to bridge.

I like Pink's song TRY. haha. it goes with the theme of " when the going gets tough, the tough gets going" One needs to fight back. Except this fighting is the kind that is not easy. It is against things I cannot see, things that might seem socially insane. But yet I need to remember that this battle belongs to God. At this point, the battle is very much a fight of hope. a fight of joy, a fight of togetherness. I need to continue to be intentional in thinking about the armor of God, to wear it and to be at a place where I am His good and faithful servant.

 Thank you Jesus for your love. I need to learn to abide in you better.


Thursday, January 03, 2013

His love endures forever

hello 2013, good bye 2012...

On the last day of the year, I went for a walk around the snow. Using Psalm 136 as a model, i considered key milestones in the year, and reminded myself at each juncture, "His Love endures forever".

I recorded the blessings of God, spent some time doodling the view in front of me.. sketching allows one to take in the view more intentionally, which leaves more time to be in awe of God's creation.

I was reminded of God's love, love that is purest than the whitest snow. That we take very much for granted, but it is there. There for redemption. Because we all need it, we have all fallen short of his glory.

I am thankful for the renewed hope for this year. I have been feeling the lack of joy or hope, instead thinking about how meaningless everything is. This year, I want to focus more on being intentional about being satisfied. That my God is enough for me, and that he has given me my lot, and because of that, his name be praised. At the end of the day, I want him to be reflected in my thoughts, life, deeds and will do what it takes to do that.

Bring it on 2013!!!